Looking For a Beta Reader?

First and foremost, a little news-- I'm on Twitter now. Check me out here. If you're coming here from Twitter, you can ignore this little update, but I wanted to put it out there for everyone else.

Now, to business. I'm looking to be a beta reader, because that sounds like the most fun ever. If you have a work in progress that needs beta reading (and every manuscript does) ], I'll be happy to critique at least part of it for you. I'm only a ninth grader, but I give writing advice every day, so I'd say I'm pretty qualified for the job. 

If you don't want me to be your beta reader, you're going to need to go on the internet and find someone who is

• Honest-- Praise is great, but if your beta reader (We'll call him Bob for simplicity's sake) gives your awful manuscript a glowing review, you'll be happy to send it off to a publisher, only to get it rejected like a kale and steamed broccoli salad.
• Kind-- Bob had better let you down easy. If he tells you outright that your manuscript is a kale and steamed broccoli salad, you'll probably cry until your tear ducts fall out. You want a Bob who has mastered the art of the compliment sandwich.
• In your target audience-- If Bob is a crotchety, sixty year-old accountant, you won't show him your YA book about a girl and her unicorn. You'll want to show it to a younger beta reader (we'll call her Annie) who loves unicorns. Annie will tell you what she wants in the book on behalf of all teenage girls with a passion for unicorns, and will recommend the book to her friends. Even if Bob does like unicorns, he won't tell his friends about the book, because they're probably also ancient accountants, and they probably don't like unicorns. Annie will be a better beta reader from both an artistic and marketing standpoint. 
• Qualified-- Bob, if he's an accountant like we had him in the last scenario, won't know a thing about creative writing, because he's never done any of it before. You'll want an experienced and avid writer, or at least a critically thinking reader, to evaluate your book. Let's call this reader Joanne. She can see right through your surface content to the bare bones of your plot. She can see the holes, and give you ideas on how to patch them. She can ask the important questions, like, "Why does your antagonist do this nice thing?" or, "Do you really need a love interest at all?" She can give you advice, like, "The nice thing your antagonist did should be given more significance, so that readers will sympathize with him," or, "The love interest gets in the way; you should replace her. That'll take out some of your major plot points, but that could be a good thing, as it'll quicken your book's pace and keep the central conflict central."

Whew! That's a lot of qualifiers! Where do you find a person that ticks all of those boxes? 

Well, you could take the easy route and give your manuscript to me. I promise I'll be the best beta reader you'll ever have.

But if you don't want to do that, there are millions of people online. At least one of them will want to read your book.

Another thing-- you'll need about five to twenty beta readers to get accurate criticism."WHAT!?!?!!?!?!?" Yes, five to twenty. But you can do it. Find some Bobs, some Annies, and best of all, some Joannes, and listen to or read carefully their critiques. This will improve your manuscript, I promise.

Happy writing!